Click on any of these tips to quick start your happiness:
When we talk, we do more than vocalize. We also hear what we are saying, think what we are saying, use certain tones of voice, feel certain emotions, and make facial expressions and physical gestures. Every time we talk, not only do we give information to other people, we give information to ourselves.
Since we use our senses and emotions when we talk, we plug into our subconscious mind. If we say the same things over and over, our subconscious mind will believe it to be true and it will become our reality. Therefore, what we say becomes how we are.
For example, insecure and anxious people tend to say “I don’t know” a lot during conversations. They don’t even realize they are saying it, but their subconscious memorizes and stores it as truth, causing them to feel helpless and hopeless. They struggle with making decisions, voicing their opinions, and being convicted to their own principles and values.
Pay attention to how you talk. Talk how you want to be. If you want to be happy, talk happy. (Examples: if someone tells you good news, celebrate it by saying, “I’m really happy for you!” When you accomplish something, say something like, “I got my whole house cleaned and I am really happy about that!”) Get into the habit of speaking happy!
People who focus on themselves have a very limited view. So, they tend to see the small aspects of themselves and others. This leads to narrow mindedness, which results in selfishness and stinginess, leaving these folks miserable.
The best way to get our minds off ourselves is to do something for other people. When we focus on others, we have a much larger view of the world and can see things we didn’t know existed. Our minds become more open from which we open our hearts.
Human beings feel good when they help someone. Doing something good for someone else could mean that you give a compliment, hold the door, let someone have your parking space, give your umbrella to someone who doesn’t have one, buy someone a cup of coffee, pray for someone.
Doing good things for people helps you be more creative and more generous, shows people good in the world and can inspire them to do the same. It helps you be happier!
We all know how exciting it is when we’re looking forward to something. This type of good pleasure excites the joy area of the brain. One of the elements for maintaining a level of happiness is to have something enjoyable to look forward to.
Research shows laughter improves overall health. Laughter relieves stress, soothes tension, helps stimulate your heart, lungs, and muscles, helps improve your immune system, can relieve pain, improves your mood, and releases endorphins.
Unlike crying, we can laugh on demand and spontaneously. Go ahead and burst into a hearty laugh!
Doing something kind for someone with no expectation, but just the intention to make someone smile is like the Freedom of Fun Act. Think about what Jesus said, “It is more blessed [and brings great joy] to give than to receive.”
When we receive, we are joyful, but when we give, we think of others beyond ourselves. Giving to others allows us to plan and be creative while anticipating joy. It also allows us to accomplish something, which creates satisfaction and joy for ourselves!
Our minds awake fresh every day. Before you start cluttering your mind with all the things you have to do, remind yourself how much you already have.
Thank God first thing each morning for a new day and all the blessings you have, and look forward to the new opportunities each day brings. Then, you can thank God again at night for all you received that day.
Gratitude is a backdoor approach to happiness. When we are grateful, we acknowledge kindness and goodness in others at the same time we accept kindness and goodness from others. This acceptance gives other people joy and is a way we give ourselves permission to have good things that leads us to be recipients of more good things, resulting in more joy, satisfaction, and contentment.
When we spend more of our time being grateful, we spend more time in the realm of kindness and goodness. We recognize all the things we have, giving us positive focus on what we have instead of what we don’t have.
Sarcasm is only amusing in a comedy club or on TV sitcoms, such as the Golden Girls. When used in relationships, it is more destructive than funny.
Sarcasm is a sharp, cutting remark used to give pain; the use of remarks that mean the opposite of what they say in order to criticize something or someone in a humorous way.
If you grew up in a family where sarcasm was the preferred style of humor, that might be okay when you are all together as a group. However, when you bring someone from the outside into the fold, he or she won’t appreciate that type of humor. It is confusing to people who don’t share in that humor. Besides being hurtful and passive aggressive, sarcasm diminishes trust. When someone uses sarcasm it is difficult to know whether he is serious and telling the truth or trying to be funny.
When you use sarcasm, you run the risk of hurting people’s feelings, losing their trust, and making people feel foolish. Be kind and leave the sarcasm behind.
One of our survival mechanisms is pain avoidance. Once we’ve been hurt, our subconscious mind stores the information as a memory to prevent us from getting hurt again, and alerts us when we are close to repeating the action. We remember things like, don’t touch the hot stove, and will jerk away from a simmering pot or don’t run out onto the street, and yank a child back onto the sidewalk. We remember what not to do.
This built in safety feature gives us a natural inclination towards negative thoughts and feelings. It is easy to express negative opinions, see the negative traits in people, talk negatively about others, and use negative expressions.
When we talk negatively, we build up our safety feature, keeping us overly alert and constantly suspicious. Suspicion negates trust and the less we trust, the more we fear.
Pay attention to how you and others talk. You’ll be amazed how many people repeatedly say, “I don’t know…” and “I can’t…” in their conversations. These folks tend to experience anxiety and inordinate chaos in their lives.
Saying “I don’t know…” makes you feel helpless and hopeless. Over use of “I can’t…” makes you feel incapable and desperate. These feelings will be what you believe about yourself and become your reality.
Keep your safety feature on standby. Instead of building it up, build up yourself and others by talking in the affirmative. Instead of saying what you can’t do, speak to what you can do. Everyone knows something. So, change your attitude by stating what you do know instead of what you don’t.
Talking in the affirmative gives you something to look forward to. It directs you to being happier.
Emotions are unreliable. They are responses to our circumstances and change quickly. They are not logical or rational. Therefore, if you base your decisions and behaviors on your emotions, you will be as unreliable as your emotions. Unreliable people lack integrity.
Doing or not doing things because you feel or don’t feel like it puts you and your emotions ahead of others and produces more regrets.