Many of us grew up with the wrong idea about happiness — the sad truth about being happy. It’s the sad truth because sadly, it is what we learned to be true about happiness. And, when we practice what we learned we actually get sad. Here are the myths and lies we learned. They are the sad truth about being happy:
- Some people are just born happy
- Happiness is a feeling of excitement and bliss
- Other people are supposed to make us happy
- We need to make other people happy
- Our circumstances determine our happiness
Why These Are Myths and Lies
No one is born happy. If babies were born happy, they wouldn’t communicate their needs and perish. Some people are born with a more pleasant disposition and more optimistic, but happiness is not natural. It is counterintuitive, making it something we must thoughtfully seek.
Our ability to think gives us the ability to seek, experience, and maintain happiness.
Excitement and Bliss
Excitement and bliss are good for short periods of time. Imagine trying to maintain that heightened feeling of ecstasy for any length of time. It would become too much of a chore and be exhausting. Happiness is more than a feeling. It is a state of mind or a condition where we can experience excitement and bliss, but also have an overall sense of well-being. It’s where we deeply experience joy, peace, and love, freedom, satisfaction, and contentment.
Other People Make Us Happy
When is the last time someone made you happy? Even God didn’t make us happy. God is happy with what He made and He made us to be happy. God gave us gifts that make us happy but only is we use them. This includes the gift of free will. We can even choose it if we want to be happy.
We Try to Make Other People Happy
The truth about needing to make other people happy is that we’re trying to fulfill what we need instead of paying attention to other people’s needs. If we make other people happy, we feel safer and more secure. And, we are happier. When we try to make other people happy, we are forcing them into something and taking away their freedom to choose happiness for themselves. In truth, we are dictators.
Our Conditions Determine Our Happiness
If you are only happy when all the conditions for you are right, you are at the mercy of other people and nature. You’ve given up your free will and put your personal responsibility on someone or something else. You’ve become irresponsible and set yourself up for guaranteed misery.
Learn the Truth
To be happy, happier, or the happiest you can be, you must learn, accept, and practice the truth. The first step is to stop believing the lies and start learning the truth. Read the next post-ette to learn the truth for being happy.